Posts tagged "scene"
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Notes: 4 / 2 years ago
the black metal knight is an odd, multifaceted creature; when he is not adorned in his elaborate band getup, he wears green sweatpants and arizona wolf tees.
this guy has dreams of one day relocating his band to norway, but in the meantime settles for his mom’s basement. he tries to make ends meet by working at the local comic book store, where he passes the time playing d&d and world of warcraft. with his career choice being unprofitable, he has suffered a series of financial setbacks that relate back to the upkeep of his image. two months worth of paychecks have gone towards having a frank frazetta clone paint his band’s cd cover. in addition, his stage getup has put him well over $800 in debt to the home depot and various bondage stores. if that wasn’t enough, medical bills have been piling up- the fearless knight suffered from a severe case of frostbite while filming a music video during a blizzard. regrettably, the aforementioned music video has enjoyed but 33 views on youtube to date.
the black metal knight recently suffered from perhaps the greatest embarrassment of all while onstage at the local dive bar. drunk past the point where he could comprehend his actions, the “kvlt” one accidentally applied his corpse makeup in a manner reminiscent of wcw’s sting. fortunately for him, his drummer was also inebriated and emerged as a passable gene simmons.
unlike his predecessors, he has never set a church on fire. he has, however, slipped and burnt his hair with his mom’s straightener. -
Notes: 2 / 2 years ago
here is “a message to you rudy”- give it up! although most of his favorite bands have ditched their brass sections for screaming and tight pants, the ska kid holds true to his checkered past.
there are still two-tone armies skanking the night away, though, to the tune of washed-up bands all across the united states. gone are the days when ska bands lived the high life in big-name clubs. nowadays, the ska kids flock to sweaty vfw halls and teen centers.
the rude boy was never good at any sports, so instead he opted to join the marching band which, incidentally, led to the formation of his own group. the band enjoyed their biggest success at a recent high school battle of the bands, where they showcased their originality by covering the reel big fish cover of a-ha’s “take on me”.
the majority of ska kid’s funds go towards the repair of his vespa, which he totalled after spilling his pez while speeding. someday the ska kid might be able to afford the fred perry and ben sherman gear he so covets, but for now the hawaiian shirts from goodwill will have to do.
this kid seems to have missed the memo about ska being dead; one can only assume he forgot to “pick it up!” -
Notes: 2 / 2 years ago
oi! this reject attempts to relive the spirit of ‘77 but, alas, was born in ‘91.
as a lover of music that revolves around the poor and working class, it only seems fitting that this street punk resides with his parents in their greenwich, ct mcmansion.
like most in his scene, he doesn’t know the first thing about politics aside from what his father brings to the dinner table. he has a strong stance against fascism, racism and sexism even though he has no idea what any of those terms truly mean. this punk firmly believes in anarchy, but this does not stop him from posting all day on the rupert-murdoch-owned myspace.com.
although his lifestyle may seem to embrace rebellion and individuality, the pseudo-punk spends plenty of time ensuring that his leather jacket is adorned with enough studs and patches to look just like those of his friends. he claims to be ambivalent about what anyone thinks of his looks, but he will go out of his way to put elmers glue and five cans of hairspray into his liberty spikes so they can stand as tall as possible.
when asked about his fashion, he will firmly attest that clothing does not define a punk. rather, the offbeat form of dress is simply a sign that encourages unity and deflects negative nuisances- which is, ironically, how everyone else views them. -
Notes: 4 / 2 years ago
this grizzled scene veteran often works in the music industry but he can’t stand anything associated with it. he tends to be apathetic toward anything and everything, with the exception of the recent hot water music reunion or his yearly excursion to the fest in florida.
he daydreams endlessly about moving to gainesville or richmond where he can participate in the scene firsthand, but for now he is stuck behind messageboards. this modern day lumberjack often aims to be “first!” on punknews.org and wishes death upon any band that seeks financial help after flipping their van.
while his fashion might not be as over-the-top as other scenesters, he’s just as identifiable with his signature scraggly beard, cowboy shirt, jade tree alumni tattoos, and swamp-like smell.
bitter and beaten, his days of stage dives and high fives are long since over. the orgcore punker is left drowning his sorrows over chuck ragan singles and a case of pbr. recently, after being dumped, his sense of apathy reached a new high; he announced to his ex that he was going to get a sandwich. -
Notes: 4 / 2 years ago
in a scene flooded with jet-black hair, piercings, and eyeliner, this spunky dude is a breath of fresh air. unfortunately for him, he looks just as silly as his contemporaries and appears to be suffering from an even worse identity crisis.
one could argue that he might be the male equivalent of rainbow brite. his wardrobe primarily consists of brightly-colored american apparel products. this might be acceptable and even cute for a teenage girl, but for a 20-something guy with hairy legs? this is a problem.
it doesn’t stop there! he appears to be reliving his childhood; he embraces nostalgia in the form of retro video games, ninjas, robots, dinosaurs, 80’s icons, and anything with a moog synthesizer.
despite his uber flamboyant appearance, his nostalgic tendencies, and his dedication to pop-punk prepackaged for preteens, he does have one masculine quality: a crush on paramore’s lead singer, hayley williams.
sadly, she is nine years his junior. -
Notes: 2 / 2 years ago
this utterly useless scene queen is internet-famous for no apparent reason other than the fact that she looks like a clown and is as naive as she is colorful.
she claims that she invented fashion trends like stripes and becomes furious if anyone “steals” her hairstyle or any of her other patented looks. making it a point to hunt down anyone who has a similar style and subsequently spending countless hours chastising others, she still can’t help but wonder why she only has friends in the online world.
the scene queen boasts that she is buddybuddy with fellow myspace icon jeffree star, but outside of gender-bending 15 year-olds, who really cares?
like most “artsy” girls her age, she has dreams of being a fashion designer and attempts to pass off bedazzled trinkets from michaels as jewelry. all that she has truly mastered is the art of manipulating mindless fans into buying her cheap junk through endless blog postings.
do mommy and daddy really know what their little girl is up to when she really should be doing her homework? -
2 years ago
he’s the last of a dying breed. the prehistoric emo only emerges from the depths of his studio apartment when his favorite bands reunite for one last show- and even then, he shows no sign of enthusiasm whatsoever.
once an avid fan of the underground emo scene, he now cringes at the sight of today’s batch of kids. he avoids mainstream media altogether, would rather listen to npr than podcasts and has no idea why anyone would panic at a disco. his favorite thrift stores are now raided by trend-hopping teens, making him resort to wearing the same vintage tees he has had for years.
he cries when he listens to pinkerton and spends days at a time organizing his vinyl collection. he refuses to join the kids on the current social networking sites as he finds them repulsive, yet seems to forget about the long since abandoned makeoutclub account he made years ago.
his casual-yet-somewhat dorky look has become the mainstream, and he is no longer identified as the emo king he once was. tear.
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Notes: 6 / 2 years ago
with more gaudy accessories than a williamsburg thrift store, this gal uses her daddy’s credit card to stay hip! she is an art school dropout and has no intention of furthering her education. rather, she aspires to become a hairdresser one day; beauty school, here she comes! please note: this will not actually happen.
her taste in music taste changes based upon what’s being spun at whatever club is trendy that week. dance music is her absolute fave, but her friends have no idea about her checkered past.
once a ska queen, she now works as hard as she can to preserve her fashionable hipster image by mimicking the incoming trends, and immediately ditches anything that might have been cool two minutes ago. this behavior prevents her from forming any individual identity whatsoever.
she aspires to work in the fashion industry, and she will- folding clothes at old navy for the rest of her life.
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Notes: 2 / 2 years ago
he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, and premarital sex? well, maybe. unlike his nerdy scenester counterparts, this guy takes care of himself. his daily exercise routine consists of 50 roundhouse kicks, performing windmills until his shoulders give out, and at least 10 minutes of mock stage dives into his parents pool.
he’s from a rare breed of the hardcore fan; very few exist past the age of 21. due to their adolescent abstinence, guys like this often lose all signs of their former “posi” attitude and become raging alcholics. awkward doesn’t even begin to explain how difficult it is to explain “edge” tattoos to chicks at the bar.if you want to contact him for crucial mosh tips, don’t hesitate to IM him at xedgextilxdeathx
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Notes: 3 / 2 years ago
she’s 14 and spending every dime her parents give her lining her favorite bassist’s pockets! pete wentz is her idol and in her eyes he can do no wrong, whether he’s designing teeshirts, sponsoring bands, or posing half-naked for gap.
the would-be tattoo on her calf? she stood outside a chili’s for three hours in the freezing chicago winter in order to wrangle that one. it’s sharpie right now, but the minute she turns 18 it’s going permanent.
she’s sick of all the kids at school who claim to be fob fans, she has been there since the bands inception (2006). she knows no one loves her boys like she does; she may be young, but she’s absolutely convinced she’ll eventually be pete’s one true love.
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Notes: 1 / 2 years ago
the skramz subculture was thought to be created out of revolt of modern corny bands such as a skylit drive, from first to last and alesana, but that couldn’t be any further from the truth. as it turns out, it was just a new name substituted for an existing musical genre that already existed in “screamo”, but the skramz kids were in the fourth grade during its heyday.
still playing catch up, the skramz revivalist spends hours perusing the old cmhwak board via archive.org to try and immerse himself in the once thriving post hardcore scene. unable to access this so called skylab that so many posters seem to mention, the revivalist has no other choice than to bootleg tees of defunct bands via cafepress to try and impress other skramz purists. after studying photos of billy werner from various angles, his tattoo sleeves look just right and would fit in at any level plane records basement show circa 2001.
unfortunately all of his favorite bands are either long since broken up or french. luckily the language barrier isn’t a big issue since the vocals usually sound like a strangled muppet having an anxiety attack at 120 mph.
the skramz kid is living in the past, but still holds out hope for a new circle takes the square album as well as duke nukem forever sometime in the near future. -
Notes: 2 / 2 years ago
armed with his boots and braces, this working-class hero is ready for a fight after a long night of sing alongs and pbr with his friends fred perry and ben sherman.
your average skin has the “spirit of ‘69” front to back multiple times and can recite any line from “romper stomper” word for word without missing a beat, yet can’t seem to remember why he has a black eye from the night before or who the byrd in his bed is.
unbeknownst to most, not all skinheads are racist, but all of them happen to own the entire skrewdriver discography, s.h.a.r.ps included. they’ll tell you they like them “only for the music”. most find this excuse hard to believe since there hasn’t been a single oi record released that doesn’t sound like it was recorded anywhere but a toilet.
inevitably all skins begin to save up their hard earned money to convert their wardrobe over to all of the latest rockabilly gear as part of his skinhead retirement plan. be sure to ditch that #1 crop trimmer for some pomade, that pompadour is going to need some work! -
Notes: 3 / 2 years ago
are you “down with the clown”? his taste in music is about as painful to listen to as it is to get powerbombed off a bus by mike awesome (youtube it!), but the poor juggalo is too deluded to realize it.
he blindly follows two middle-aged, talentless hacks who like to play dress up- so he follows suit! buying into a merchandise empire bigger and more self-indulgent than that of hannah montana, the sad clown mindlessly purchases whatever icp sells… keychains, faygo soda, flags, purses, lighters, and athletic gear that will never be put to use. with his facepaint, lice-ridden goatee, coolio haircut, and outdated jnco jeans, the juggalo often finds employment at gas stations and carnivals.
he spends his minimum wages without a second thought at the annual gathering of the juggalos. this is the only place he can find true happiness amongst his brethren, whether it be at a psychopathic records concert lineup or a jcw wrestling event. just watch out for the broken light tubes and barbed wire. -
Notes: 4 / 2 years ago
you sir, are grizzled!
with a wardrobe that looks like it was donated to a thrift store by either crosby, stills or nash in 1971 and a beard that has its own zip code, this indie icon has a devout army of worshippers who follow his every whispered word.
the lethargic lo-fi lethario is known to lock himself in a cabin for months on end to craft minimalistic folksy songs. by the end of his self-imposed exile, all he has produced is a stream of hushed whispers with barely fingerpicked guitar strums. his musical works are recommended by doctors as a suitable alternative for ambien. in a matter of verses he could put down an army of mexican wrestlers hopped up on redbull.
one might say his songs give them the chills, but that is only because they passed out listening and forgot to get a blanket. -
Notes: 3 / 2 years ago
Most kids who are serious about Metal / Hardcore wouldn’t be where they are without the works of bands such Black Flag, Bad Brains and Black Sabbath. Nowadays, the frontrunners of metalcore wouldn’t be where they are if Switchfoot, Five Iron Frenzy and DC Talk weren’t played at past bible camp retreats.
In recent years religion has made its presence felt in the metalcore scene moreso than ever before. In order to avoid this trend make sure to keep a tally while listening to current bands. If you hear the word “he” more than “she” then you are either a) listening to bear force one or b) you might be being taken advantage of by Jesus mind tricks. If you find yourself armed with a hair straightener and a wardrobe of v-neck shirts you must immediately listen to NOFX records for the next few hours to cleanse yourself from this form of audio hypnosis.
Hardcore wouldn’t be what it is without some sense of passion, but passion about some fictional zombie?
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